Never Alone
by strawberrycupcake101
Summary: AU Matthew has had enough with his life and decides to end it once and for all.  But what happens when he is saved by someone he doesn't even know? Angsty!Franada.  attempted suicide and some mentioning throughout
1. Attempt

The cool wind whipped across Matthew's face as he stood against one small pole supporting him from behind. He shivered, pulling his jacket closer to himself, and stared down into the black water below that was almost beckoning him to come closer. The water splashed this way and that, making small waves crash down upon the banks of the river, threatening to over flow. He watched as the water made its way up the pillars beneath the bridge, the waves licking slowly up them like they were saying if he didn't come down soon they would come to him. Matthew gulped at the thought and closed his eyes, trying hard to push all thoughts of fear and doubt as far away as possible. He kept telling himself it would be ok, that once this was over and done with everything would be alright. He would be happy again and everyone he ever knew would be too.

Never again would he have to go through another school day labeled as the quiet weirdo who owns a dumb stuffed bear. Never again would he be overshadowed by his twin brother, always having to hear the whispers of "How can you live with a guy like him?" or "He is such a freak!" while the person pointed towards Canada. Never again would he have to sit through another speech from his parents about how worthless he is and 'why can't he be like his brother?' Everyone would be able to continue their lives happily without him; he was just a burden that only slowed everyone down. He was doing society a favor by ending it all right here, right now. That is, if he could gather up the courage to take the final leap.

Matthew leaned against the cool metal behind him and let out a sigh. Earlier when running it through his mind the whole thing seemed quite easy. Go to the bridge, stand on the edge and then jump. Simple, right? But of course, his acrophobia would have to kick in now, wouldn't it? The blonde stared at the water beneath him, as he kicked a small piece of gravel off the ledge, watching as it make a small splash before disappearing into the dark abyss below. _See? All you have to do is follow the rock's example and jump, _Matthew told himself. But even when said with confidence he wasn't given much relief. The boy probably shouldn't have compared himself to a rock either; it's not the best confidence booster in the world.

Matthew let out another sigh before precariously leaning over the edge of the bridge, leaving no contact between him and the bridge anymore. The only thing supporting him was the 2 inches of solid metal beneath him. _Come on Mattie, you can do it! Just one step and you're home free._

When you're on the verge of death, people say you block out most of your surroundings and this was ringing true for Matthew; the boy was paying no attention to anything around him (not like he expected anyone to be around since it was a bridge on a stormy night). As a consequence Matthew did not notice the car making its way across the bridge. He did not notice the car come to a stop behind him or hear someone get out of that same car and walk towards him.

"Hey, what do you think you're doing?"

So much for blocking out your surroundings. At the sound of the other's voice, Matthew quickly turned around to face the man, causing himself to lose balance. He felt himself begin to teeter backwards, his weight pulling him down toward the watery grave below. Fear flashed in his eyes as he looked up at the man on the bridge, his own violet eyes meeting blue. The man was blonde and had the most amazing blue eyes Matthew had ever seen, and if it wasn't for the fact that he was falling to his death he probably would have been quite embarrassed to be around someone like him.

In a desperate attempt the unknown man thrust his hand out towards the falling boy and yelled, "Take my hand!" But alas it was to no avail. Matthew reached his hand out towards the blonde, but knew it would never reach. Accepting his fate, Matthew let himself fall freely, enjoying the feeling of being airborne shortly before crashing into the water below. The impact was in no way pleasant and Matthew could feel his head pounding. He didn't struggle or try to swim back to the top; instead he just let himself sink down towards the bottom, his body suspended in the water. The blonde's lungs quickly filled up with water since he didn't even bother to hold his breath, his vision began to go blurry. _It will all be over soon_ he told himself, _I will soon black out and then this will all be over and no one will ever hear the name Matthew Williams ever again._

In the midst of blacking out and finally admitting defeat, Matthew heard a faint splash above, which puzzled him. He wasn't sure what it was that made that splash, but he did however realize that whatever it was, was coming towards him. Slipping in and out of consciousness, he was able to make out a shape. At first it just looked like a big shadowy thing, but then he saw them. They were those two blue eyes he had seen right before he fell, and they were looking straight at him. A little surprised but unable to move from lack of consciousness, Matthew did nothing and just let himself keep falling. Well, he would have, if it wasn't for the fact that the unknown blonde decided to grab hold of Matthew and start pulling him up instead. Matthew groaned inwardly, _Wow I'm so pathetic I can't even commit suicide right. _And with that everything went black and his life was now in the hands of some random stranger.

Perfect. Just perfect.


	2. Wondering

Matthew woke up to find himself in what he believed to be a hospital, judging from the overall whiteness and lack of anything in the room. The room was empty except for his bed, a small side table with a lamp and a heart monitor. He glanced over at the small box which was beeping quite loudly, as to indicate that yes, he was still breathing. He groaned inwardly. _Great- not only did I completely fail at my suicide attempt but now I have this stupid thing reminding me every few second that I'm still alive. _With a frown, the boy glanced down at his arm. There a small needle was pumping a strange liquid from a plastic bag into his hand. Seeing as he found the needle to be quite annoying, Matthew painfully pulled it out before dropping it to the floor with a clink, drops of liquid pooling around it.

"Damn…" He cursed as the blood began to pool around the small hole from the needle. He quickly placed two fingers over the small hole in an attempt to stop the bleeding, since he wasn't too fond of blood. This explained some of the reason he picked jumping off a bridge over blowing his brains out with a gun. Maybe next time he would just go with the latter, seeing as how it was fool proof. Of course, knowing him he would probably fuck it up somehow or another anyway. As the blood began to overflow around his fingers, the boy quickly brought his bloody fingers to his mouth in an attempt to clean them off. Thank God no one else was in the room or they probably would have thought he was some kind of freak.

"Mr. Williams?"

Matthew's head quickly snapped around at the other's voice, two fingers still in his mouth. The man he was facing was of average height, with short shaggy brown hair that stopped right above his ears. He had the brightest green eyes Matthew had ever seen which contrasted well with the man's dark skin. He was very attractive to say the least, and guessing by his accent, was a heartthrob of sorts for many girls.

"Well Mr. Williams," The man started, staring at some papers on his clipboard as he made his way over to Matthew's bed, "you seem to be quite well, a few bruises here and there but all seems to be _bien_."

Matthew nodded his head before pulling his forgotten fingers out with a small pop. "Well ok," he started wiping off his slightly slobbery fingers on his blanket, "But one question. Who are you?"

The other chuckled a bit before answering the boy's question. "Ah _lo siento_, I am Doctor Fernandez, but everyone calls me Antonio." Matthew guessed by everyone he meant the female population of the hospital. Usually he didn't like Antonio's type, the ever so handsome foreign man who all the girls love, but this man seemed nice so Matthew didn't really mind. He looked up to notice Antonio staring oddly at something. He followed the others line of sight before stopping on a small bubble of blood on his arm, which he quickly tried to hide. Shoving his arm under his blanket, he tried to cover up the wound. Too bad the sheet was white. The Spaniard sighed and placed his clipboard aside before grabbing the younger's wrist and holding out his arm. "Mr. Williams, I would appreciate it if you didn't do that. We have IV's for a reason." he scolded, bending down to pick up the fallen needle and placing it in one of his pockets. He then pulled out another needle from a different pocket and quickly placed the new needle in the other's arm, causing Matthew to wince in pain.

"Call me Matthew." he said absently, trying to ignore the weird pulsing in his arm. If he could be on a first name basis with Antonio, then it should be the same for Antonio as well.

The Spaniard smiled, before walking toward the foot of the bed and placing the clipboard back in a small pocket. "Alright Matthew, if there's nothing else you need I should be on my way,"

"Wait," Matthew commanded; he had some things he had been wondering since he woke up and was not about to give up this chance. "What happened? To me, I mean?"

Antonio looked up with a slight shocked expression before settling into one of his perfect smiles. "Of course. You were out cold there for some time, weren't you? It's no surprise you don't remember."

"How long was I out?" Matthew asked, with peeked interest. Just what had happened between when he lost consciousness and now?

"Oh about," Antonio glanced down at his watch, "_Cinco o seis horas_."

"Eh?"

"_Lo siento_, five or six hours."

"Oh…" Matthew lowered his head slowly before snapping back up with a curious expression. "Then how did I get here?" he motioned to the room and the bed he was in.

Antonio placed his hands in his white jacket pocket before answering. "I can tell you you're quite lucky for one thing, _mi amigo_. You were saved by a very nice and caring man. Apparently he saved you from drowning and then brought you here, where we took you into our care. You took quite some fall, I'll tell you."

Matthew's mind flashed back to the night on the bridge. He remembered the man on the bridge with the brilliant blue eyes. He remembered falling, the man reaching out to him. Then he was crashing before another splash, someone pulling him upward but why? Why would anyone risk there life for a complete stranger? He needed to know more. "Is he still here? The man who saved me I mean?"

Antonio frowned before turning his head, looking out the window into the cloudy skies outside. "I'm afraid not _chico_. He left shortly after we stabilized you."

"Oh." Was the only thing Matthew could say. He still had so many questions to ask, but he knew it would be useless to probe any farther. He could tell Antonito didn't want to talk about it, and that was enough for him. Matthew wasn't the pushy type like his brother. It was quiet for quite some time, both lost in their own thoughts, before someone finally spoke up.

"Well Matthew I guess I should be heading out, I still have _mucho_ patients to see yet." Antonio said before making his way to the door, but stopped when his hand met the door handle. "Oh, _me olvidé_! Is there anyone you would like me to contact? I would have contacted someone already but unfortunately your files are still in the process of being transferred from your old hospital."

Matthew laughed quietly to himself. What his luck, having his files stuck at his old hospital. When they moved, his dad thought it best to just switch hospitals entirely. At least this way, his parents wouldn't be notified and have to make a big scene out of this. He really didn't need another round of therapy sessions, that was for sure. "No, it's alright." Matthew smiled, confidence in his voice, "Wouldn't want the folks worrying about some small thing like this, right?"

The Spaniard smiled back before turning the handle on the door. "Yes, of course." And with that he left, closing the door behind him; yet again leaving Matthew alone in the room, with only the sound of the heart monitor keeping him company.

Antonio leaned against the door as it shut with a sigh. Just what was the idiot thinking? How could someone bring some random kid to him in the middle of the night, soaking wet and then leave without a trace? "_Francis what are you doing_?" he sighed before stepping away from the door and off down the hallway, footsteps echoing with each step.


	3. Reminiscing

Ok so I just wanna tell you guys how much I love you all! Your comments helped me publish this beaituiful chapter and I even made it lnger than normal! Im so sorr for the delay, my life had been so topsyturvy and I never had time to just sit and type! Well now I made time and here it is! Chapter 3! I know its not much, but I promise next chapter something *ahem* or someone will appear and tis gonna be awesome! :D So yeah thanks for sticking with me and if you are reading this enjoy the chapter!

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About an hour after waking up and convincing the hospital that yes, he was ok and no, he did not need to call anyone to come get him, Matthew slowly and quite painfully walked the ten blocks from the hospital to his house. About a block from his house, he figured it was about early morning, perhaps five or six judging by the sun rising high above the horizon and the work-a-holics pulling out of their driveways on their way to work. Either way, he hoped he his parents had already left for work and he wouldn't have to play twenty questions with them about where he was all night. When you think about it '_Well guys I basically hate my life so much I decided to jump off a bridge but, since life is so against me, I was saved and sent to a hospital, which is where I have been for the last couple hours.' _probably isn't the best excuse in the world. Unless, of course, you _wanted_ your parents freaking every time you picked up a knife or three more hours of therapy each day. Yeah, didn't think so.

So when Matthew opened the door and found his dad, sitting on the couch while drumming his fingers impatiently and Sára, pacing back in forth in front of him, he wasn't too thrilled. With a forced smile he closed the door behind and said "Hey." hoping to play the whole thing off as nothing.

But of course that wasn't gonna work.

"Oh Matthew, where have you been?" Sára cried, running over to hug him. "We were so worried. I mean you never come home! Well except for that one time…"

While Sára babbled on Matthew only grimaced. He didn't actually mind Sára showing her concern but the hugging he could do without. It's not that he was against hugs or anything; it's rather he was, more or less, against her. Sára wasn't actually his real birth mother. His real mother died when Matthew was about six years old and living with his dad and brother in good ol' Canada, hence his very noticeable accent he never got rid of. After his mother died, his dad, who was originally from America, decided to move back to his hometown of Galieon, Michigan, population about six hundred. It was one of those small towns where every knew each other and always swapped photos of their grandkids with each other and chatting about how little Timmy is finally going off to college and that little Amy from down the street finally got married to some nice lad. You know, one of _those_ towns.

Anyway, when they arrived they were greeted warmly by all who had heard the grieving news and Matthew was told by numerous people that if he ever wanted to talk, they would listen. Like hell Matthew would tell any of them anything. A bunch of over sensitive, nosy freaks is what he decided they were. Later everyone decided to throw a small welcome back party for the return of the Jones' boy. (They never actually called Matthew's dad by his real name; just 'the Jones' boy' seemed to do.) At that party was where his dad met Sára for the first time. Sára was new to the town and her parents had just migrated from Hungary (Matthew had absolutely no idea where _that _was he was sure his dad didn't either) and she reluctantly followed, wanting to watch over her elderly parents. She knew English quite well for someone with such little experience and the two hit it off quite well. He introduced himself as Johnny Jones but told her most people just called him JJ. She giggled and their conversation picked up from their, both becoming infatuated with each other by the end of the night.

Three months later the two got married and another party was thrown for the happy couple and people congratulated the two with much enthusiasm. But not Matthew. He felt Sára was trying to fill his mothers place, replace her even, and this didn't go well with Matthew at all. Even after the wedding he never referred to her as 'mother' and swore he never would, no matter how many times his dad asked him. Matthew believed he only had one mother and no one could replace her.

Ever.

"Sára, please, I'm fine." Matthew said through a fake smile, just wanting her to let go of him. She sighed before pulling away and leaving two hands on each of his shoulders. She didn't notice him slightly wince in pain from the contact "I was just so worried. I mean how would you feel if your son went missing for a whole night without a single word?" Matthew wanted to answer with something along the lines of, "Well why you don't tell me when _your _son does, seeing as how I'm _not _your son." but bit his tongue instead, seeing as how he was already in enough trouble as it was.

"I'm sorry."

She sighed again and closed her eyes. "I am too; I mean I just wish you wouldn't act out like this. I want to be here for you. You know that, right Matthew? I am your mother after all."

_But you're not my mother._

"Yeah…" Matthew replied looking away. He really didn't need this right now.

"Matthew would you like to explain just where the hell you were?" His father interrupted, his mouth in a deep scowl. Matthew gulped.

"Now dear-"

"No Sára, don't 'dear' me! Our son has been missing all night and could have been lying dead in some gutter somewhere, and I'm not about to just-!" His father snapped before his anger quickly dissipated and he just sighed, crossing his arms. "Matthew," he stated more calmly, trying to calm himself down in the process. His father was known for having quite a temper but he was also known for it disappearing as soon as it appeared. It's one of the things that always scared Matthew about his father, always worrying when all his pent up anger will finally burst, but luckily tonight was not the time. "Care to explain where you were all night?"

Matthew thought for a moment. "I was at Felik's house. I was visiting and I guess I just kinda fell asleep at some point. Sorry I didn't call." He added a small frown and looked down at his feet as if disappointed in himself. If he was good at one thing it was lying, you could say he had a knack for it.

His father sighed and Sára bit her lip and looked at her husband, not sure what to say. It was quiet for a bit before his father spoke up. "Alright, if you say so. Just make sure you call us next time you're going somewhere. You nearly scared me and your mother to death." Matthew almost wanted to laugh at the "to death" part but decided it wouldn't get him out of the conversation anytime soon. With a nod he walked past the two and upstairs to his room. It was always dark during the mornings in the small town, especially as winter came around and with fall coming up, the nights had gotten longer. Matthew quickly stepped into the dark room and closed the door behind him before making his way cautiously to his bed. He let himself fall on the bed, the bed giving in slightly under his weight. He glanced over at the door that was between him and his brothers room, a door they used to love as a child seeing as how after bedtime, they could sneak over to each others room without their dad knowing. The door was and had always been a bright white and could usually be seen with an almost ghostly glow through even the blackest of nights. But not tonight, tonight it was open.

"Go to bed Alfred." Matthew muttered to the figure standing in the doorway, but he didn't move.

"Where were you? Mum and Dad were worried…" Alfred asked caringly, worry laced through his voice. Matthew sighed.

"I was at Felik's, okay?"

"But you stopped talking to Felik's about two years ago."

"Good night, _Alfred." _Matthew said sternly, annoyed at the fact his brother was still there. After a few minutes Alfred retreated to his own room, shutting the door quietly behind him, leaving Matthew alone in silence. Matthew groaned quietly before placing his hands over his face. This wasn't supposed to happen, he shouldn't even be here right now. He shouldn't be feeling guilty for making his brother worry or thinking about how he is gonna face his father again in a few hours and he most certainly should _not_ be thinking about what he is going to do next week when school starts. Through all the nagging thoughts in his mind, he somehow found himself falling asleep, eyelids becoming heavy. He sighed to himself, before curling up in his bed and falling asleep. Hopefully tomorrow he would figure something out, because it wasn't gonna stay like this.

He wouldn't allow it.

* * *

The next week was a living hell for Matthew. He spent almost everyday holed up in his room, trying to figure out what the hell he was gonna do. He tried thinking of new ways of committing suicide, but when he thought carefully, none of them were as fool proof as the whole bridge thing(or so he had thought). He then just took to not leaving his bed, hoping maybe he could just die from starvation, simple enough right? But of course, since the world was so against him, Alfred quickly put a stop to that. After a few days of tug of war with the door and Alfred pinning him down (Matthew really hated how strong his brother was) just to try and force feed him, Matthew finally gave up. What use was it now anyway? Before Matthew knew it, school had reared its ugly head around, much to his dislike.

"To hell with school. It's nothing but jocks and sluts and idiots." Matthew muttered under his breath while shoving some quite large textbooks into his backpack. His brother, who was beside him also getting ready, frowned.

"Mattie, please, watch your language. You know Sára doesn't like swearing." Alfred sighed, knowing neither he nor Matthew needed another lecture from Sára about how swearing was a horrible ugly thing, reserved for drunks and others of the sort. Matthew sighed and looked at his brother.

"Fine. _A l'enfer avec l'école. Son juste un paquet d'athlètes, les dévergondées et les idiots.*" _He said with a smirk, knowing Alfred hated when he spoke in French. Matthew had picked some French up from his mother when he was younger, so when she died he taught himself as well as took it at school. Speaking French helped him feel a little closer to his mother and no one else seemed to understand.

Alfred just sighed and slung his backpack over his shoulder before walking out the door. Matthew smiled triumphantly and followed making sure to slam the door quite loudly because if he had to be up this early, he would make sure _everyone _was up too. He thought it only fair.

Outside the air was chilly, letting everyone know of the season coming up. The trees had turned the brilliant colors of fall, reds and oranges and yellows scattered everywhere. It really was quite pretty when you stopped to think about it, nature was a simple beauty in life. It was the one thing Matthew loved in the world. He remembered when his mom had taken him on a picnic one summer.

"_Matthew, _mon petit**_, come here. You don't want the bugs to get your food first." _

_Matthew, who had been busy chasing a butterfly, quickly ran over at the sound of her voice and plopped himself down. He grinned at her like any five year old would. _

"_I'm here, let's eat!" He exclaimed before reaching for his food. His mom just smiled before eating as well. While they ate the two talked about how pretty the trees had become and all the different bugs Matthew had found. "There was his one that looked like a stick but guess what? It moved! And those little things that hop around and look like grass until you see them move. There so cool!" He threw his hands up in the air for emphasis which made his mother laugh. Matthew loved making his mother laugh, for her laugh made him feel all warm inside. She was the world to him and he didn't care who knew it. _

_After they finished their meal, they packed everything up and resided to lying on the checkered blanket they had brought, just staring at the sky. While Matthew was trying to figure out if the cloud was either a rabbit or a turtle, his mother spoke up. "Matthew you see the trees over there? And that butterfly up there? The field of flowers over there?" Matthew nodded each time she asked him, letting her know she had his full attention before she continued. "Don't ever forget just how special they are. Even though they may just be plants or insects, they are still important. Even down to the tiniest bug, don't ever forget about these simple things that others ignore. Just remember such things are never completely forgotten. They just need the right person to come and notice them."_

_Matthew stared at his mother for a while, taking in the serene look on her face while she watched the sky. He nodded once before returning his gaze back to the sky, thinking about how everything would be okay, as long as his mother was around._

Matthew's eyes began to brim with tears. Memories of his mother always made him tear up, and he hated it. He didn't like crying because he saw no point, it wasn't going to bring her back, nothing would. But he held onto these memories in the back of his mind, determined to never let her go.

"Mattie? Hey you coming or not? We're gonna be late!" Alfred yelled from his car, becoming quite impatient. Matthew just stood on the porch, not really hearing anything his brother was saying, lost in thought. "Hey Mattie, come on!"

Matthew suddenly blinked a few times before glancing at his brother. He wiped his eyes quickly so as not to let his brother see his tears. Alfred knew just how much their mom had meant to Matthew, and always worried about him. Matthew made his way down the walkway, tripping slightly as he stepped onto the sidewalk. Alfred suppressed a slight giggle which in turn, earned him a frown from his brother. "So you coming or not?"

Matthew shifted slightly from foot to foot as if in thought before saying, "Actually I'm not feeling too well. I think I'll stay home, after all, it's only the first day."

Alfred shrugged, understanding since his brother got sick quite often, and he wasn't about to argue. With a small salute, Alfred drove off leaving Matthew standing alone on the sidewalk. He stood there for a minute before moving, but instead of going back up the walkway, he turned right and began to walk. Whenever he felt like this he knew he wouldn't be able to face his father, let alone Sára.

There was only one place he knew he could go.

* * *

TRanslations:

*= To hell with school. It's nothing but jocks and sluts and idiots

**= My little


	4. Meeting

**OMG I AM SO SORRY! T_T I havent updated this story in forever but dont worry im sticking with it! I have just had alot of stuf to deal with so it was hard for me to find time to type this out! But no matter cuz here it is and its the longest chapter yet, just for you guys! I hope you like it and dont be mad at me! Im trying!**

**Hetalia is not mine fyi**

* * *

"Stupid cold, freakin September shouldn't be cold." Matthew mumbled to himself as he walked through town, wishing he would have worn something heavier than a sweatshirt. "It's practically still summer! Dammit…" Matthew let out a huff and looked up to see a few faces looking at him quizzically. He assumed it was because he still had his book bag with him, and not only was it a Monday; the schools were about 10 minutes outside of town, so students rarely ever walked through town. Personally Matthew found it stupid that the schools were so far away, but it wasn't his problem. He rarely went to school anyway.

When Matthew finally reached his destination he calmly walked inside, letting a rush of warm air sweep over him. '_Oh, this is better…' _he thought as he let the glass door shut behind him, creating a comforting wall of warm air between him and the cool September air.

"Matthew!"

Before he could react, Matthew was suddenly attacked and pulled into a bone crushing hug. He didn't have to ask who because the fact his face was smushed between two ginormous boobs was as much of an answer as anything. "Hello Katyusha." Matthew replied, his voice muffled against the others chest. At the mention of her name, the girl let go of Matthew and held him out at arm's length. "Now Mattie, don't be so formal!" She looked at him with a hurt look in her eyes, as if Matthew calling her Katyusha was killing her. "Call me Kat, okay?"

Matthew just rolled his eyes. She always was a bit of drama queen, even when it came to simple things like names. "Sorry, Kat." He smiled at Katyusha, shrugging the other's hands off his shoulders in the process. " I guess since I have known you for years, I should drop the formalities. Guess it's just a habit." Katyusha gave a silent nod and a content smile before walking off.

Matthew instinctively found his way to a table in a corner, seated between the wall and the window which made up the whole front of the Place. That's what Matthew had dubbed this little building, "the Place", seeing how there was no sign out front to indicate the name. Well, there was a sign once, Katyusha had told him matter of factly, but the sign fell down during a blizzard years ago. The owners wanted to get a new one but because of budget cuts, they never did. Over the years ownership switched from person to person, and the original name became long forgotten. It was peculiar no one ever put up a new sign, but it was most likely because they didn't want to dish out the money. Things were broken every year from bad storms, so it would be annoying to keep replacing it.

Matthew shrugged off his backpack next to a table before seating himself in the one of the chairs. When he happened to look up, Katyusha was standing there flipping over a blank pad and pulling out a pen. Matthew smiled, that was just like Katyusha to always be so on top of things. "So will it be the usual or no?"

Matthew leaned back a little in his chair, thinking for a moment. "The usual please." He answered with a smile. Katyusha just nodded, scribbling something down quickly before walking towards the kitchen. She then came back out with a cup and a pot of coffee, making sure not to spill any on the other customers. Katyusha was a little bit clumsy so she had to be extra careful sometimes, especially when she was dealing with hot liquid. She carefully placed the cup on the table before filling it with the dark liquid. Matthew gave a silent nod of thanks, and took the cup between both his hands. The mug was nice and warm and felt good against his numb hands. He didn't take a sip, just held it there enjoying the warmth.

Katyusha then left to cater to the other customers. Luckily the place was busy or Katyusha would have wanted to talk for awhile, and Matthew was in no mood to talk anyway. What he really needed was some time to think, and the Place was the only place in town he could do just that. Matthew stared into his coffee for awhile, feeling some of the warmth beginning to fade. He frowned and took a small sip, being careful not to burn himself. It was bitter.

Just like everything else.

Matthew didn't exactly enjoy black coffee very much, he actually much preferred on of the sweet concoctions Katyusha would create for him from time to time. But the bitter coffee reminded him of his mother. It was one of the things Matthew remembered most about his mom. How she would make the kitchen smell so amazing in the mornings with the brewing coffee. He remembered watching with amazement as she skillfully poured the black liquid into a cup and picked it up, just holding it there for awhile. One time Matthew had asked to taste it and when his mother let him, he made a face and said it was icky. It made his mother laughed which made him smile. Matthew loved to make his mother laugh because it was the most beautiful things in the world to him, for if his mother was happy he was happy.

Oh, how he wished his mom was still alive to laugh like that.

Speaking of alive, he still didn't understand why he still was. Matthew knew he had been saved by some random, good looking stranger, but one question kept rolling around in his head.

'_Why?'_

Matthew wanted to know why he was saved, why there was some stranger out there who cared about when his life ended. Matthew tried to get over it, he really did. Every time he thought about overdosing on his depression pills (which he found ironic) or when he would lie atop his roof, watching the stars and it crossed his mind to just roll right off, he could never really make himself do either. It was like a small string attached itself between him and the stranger, a sliver of hope. A chance that there really is someone out there who cares about him, who wants him to be alive. He knew how far fetched the whole idea sounded, it even sounded stupid to him, but it was something.

Matthew sat at his table and continued to stare out the window in an almost daze like trance. He didn't even notice when Katyusha came over and set down a plate in front of him and held out another cup to him. "I'm guessing that's getting cold." She motioned toward the still full mug in his hands, "Here, I thought you might like this better."

Matthew looked up at Katyusha, then down at his cup. He hadn't realized it but the cup was cold, he could feel the cool porcelain against his skin. He silently pushed the cup to the end of the table before taking the other cup from Katyusha, being careful not to spill it. He took a sip and cursed quietly when he accidentally burnt his tongue. Katyusha just laughed.

The drink was sweet and very tasty, it was almost like candy. Matthew was busy relishing in the extraordinary flavor when it clicked. Katyusha only made him sweet drinks when she wanted to talk.

"Matthew what's wrong?"

Matthew's eyes flickered upward to find Katyusha already seated across from him. He stole a glance around the room and discovered no one else was around. It was just Katyusha and him. Instinctively, Matthew stared into his drink and mumbled, "Nothing.", a defense mechanism he developed over the years to keep people away. Katyusha just sighed. "Matthew, really, you have been sitting in that same spot for about an hour, just staring out the window. That means something's up." Katyusha gave Matthew a sincere look, but what she got in return was Matthew looking questionably at his food. She sighed. "No Matthew, those pancakes haven't been sitting out for an hour. I had Lucas wait a bit to make them since we all know he isn't in any hurry." The two chuckled at their inside joke about the cook, before Katyusha began again, "So, what's up with you?"

"I….I…"

Matthew really didn't want to tell her, he really didn't. Katyusha was always all smiles and so carefree, he didn't want to bring her down from that. Katyusha was the one person he could always be happy around and he didn't want to ruin it. Although, he knew if he didn't tell her she would be even more worried than if he did. "I was in the hospital the other night." Matthew looked up to see her smile be replaced by a frown, her eyes looking down. "N-nothing serious though!" He blurted out, "Just a few bruises…" Matthew though it best to leave it at that, better not to mention the whole jumping from a bridge and getting a concussion part.

Katyusha thought to herself for a while, eyebrows knitted in concentration before shaking her head. "I'm not going to pry but…" She paused for a moment as if searching for the right words, "But I want you to know that I am always here for you, no matter what."

Matthew just stared into his cup not daring to make eye contact. He felt horrible, he was a horrible person. How could he burden someone as sweet and innocent as Katyusha with himself? It wasn't fair to her, it wasn't fair to anyone. Just another bulletin added to his long list of reasons why he shouldn't be around anymore. Lost in his own self wallowing, Matthew hadn't noticed Katyusha get up and come around to give him a somewhat embrace. Not knowing what to do, Matthew just mumbled "Thanks." and smiled the best he could. Katyusha let go and smiled back before checking her watch. "I should probably be getting back to work. You know how the boss is."

Matthew rolled his eyes in mock annoyance and the two laughed. "Speaking of bosses," Katyusha piped up while grabbing Matthew's empty mug, "Apparently we're getting a new one. I heard he's French." Katyusha leaned a little closer to Matthew, "And I heard he swings both ways." Matthew's mouth fell open in shock and his face turned a nice shade of pink. Trying to hide his embarrassment, he began to fiddle nervously with the handle of his mug. "Katyusha is that really necessary?" Katyusha just grinned which made Matthew blush even more.

"You should come meet him at least. He was here a few days ago but he's coming back on Friday, so don't be stranger Mattie!" And the she was gone, already heading back to the kitchen to most likely hassle Lucas about his laziness. Matthew sighed, leaning his head on his hand. Sometimes, he regretted telling that girl anything.

When Matthew finally arrived home after a day full of wondering around town, he was greeted by a not so happy Alfred. After some bickering and name calling a compromise was established. Alfred wouldn't tell their dad about Matthew skipping if he agreed to go to school for the rest of the week and do Alfred's share of the chores for the rest of the week as well. With an annoyed huff Matthew agreed and was saved from the wrath that was his father and the annoyingness that was Sára. At least something was going alright for once.

Well sort of.

Matthew kept his end of the bargain with Alfred and somehow dragged himself through school the last few days. It was Thursday and he was pleased with himself for sustaining from most social contact( He figured making friends would only make him feel guilty when he finally decided to kill himself, although there was Katyusha but that was beside the fact) when he noticed someone sit down next to him. Matthew couldn't help but be surprised since it was the lunch period and Matthew was usually the only one who outright skipped lunch. Too many social encounters at lunch, so instead Matthew sat outside away from the other students. He couldn't help but scowl when he realized who it was. "What do you want Gilbert?"

"Whoa now, no need to get bitchy! I just though I would grace you with my awesomeness, since you're one of the only people I deem ok in my book." Gilbert produced a lazy smirk which made Matthew roll his eyes in annoyance. He never really understood how he was okay in Gilbert's book, heck he didn't even know the other could read let alone have his own book. Not in the mood for putting up with the annoying thing that was Gilbert just ignored him with ease. Instead Matthew turned his attention to pulling grass out of the ground before allowing himself to fall backwards. He landed with a slight crunch form the few freshly fallen autumn leaves, placing his hands behind his head in a leisurely fashion and just closing his eyes. Matthew was lucky it was warmer than normal this year because by now he would have had to resort to spending the period in the library. Not that he didn't like the library; the new librarian was just a bit of a prick.

After a while Matthew noticed Gilbert hadn't said anything else which was odd since he usually had his mouth running a mile a minute. "Hey Gilbert…" Matthew started as his opened his eyes and letting out a small shriek. Gilbert's face was mere inches from Matthew's and the other had his hands on either side of Matthew, trapping him. Well, not really but it sure felt like it to Matthew. "You look better when you're ignoring the world."

Matthew just blinked a few times, eyes locked on the boy above him. '_Look better when I'm ignoring the world….?' _Matthew frowned. "I don't know what you're talking about." He huffed, a light shade of pink spreading across his cheeks, "But I think you should get off of me before people get the wrong idea." As if on cue, Gilbert looked up to see two kids coming from lunch look at them before continuing on their way. He just shrugged and turned his attention back to Matthew. "It's not like I don't know you're obviously gay."

"W-what? How did you find out?"

"I just did." Gilbert smirked as he rolled onto his back, releasing Matthew in the process. Matthew's face went from a light pink to a deep red instantly. "Y-you're an ass Gilbert, you know that?" Matthew stammered as he brought himself to a standing position, wiping off some excess grass and dirt before stomping off happy to be anywhere but there.

Prussia just laughed. "Love ya too Mattie."

* * *

"I'm proud of you bro, you made it the whole week!"

"Uh yeah…"

"See? It isn't that hard to go to school every now and again, is it?"

"No, of course not?"

"Are you getting sarcastic with me bro?"

"Oh no of course not~"

"Just be glad it's Friday and you don't have to do my chores anymore."

"Mhmmm…..wait, did you say Friday?"

"Yeah, why? Hey wai-!"

SLAM!

"…Well bye."

* * *

Good thing Alfred had brought up the day or Matthew might have forgotten.

It only took Matthew about fifteen minutes to get to town, he really was lucky he lived close. When he rounded the corner to get to the Place, something was different. There was not only a car parked outside (no on actually drove to town, unless they were picking some things up) but it was a car that definitely did not belong anywhere near that town. Matthew cautiously walked up to the car, almost afraid it would explode if he got to close. Upon further inspection the car was a jet black like the night sky. The car shone so much Matthew could see himself in the hood reflection. Matthew then proceeded to make exaggerated faces before moving on the side view mirrors to do the same thing.

After awhile Matthew remembered he was in public and quickly straightened himself out and looked around gracious to see no one there. With a sigh of relief, Matthew straightened himself out before making his way inside the Place.

Once inside, warm air greeted him and he smiled. Closing the door, he glanced around confused. Katyusha always would say hello the moment he stepped in the door, but for some reason she was nowhere. Matthew thought she might be in the kitchen with Lucas since there appeared to be no one else in the Place at the moment. As Matthew approached the kitchen doors, both doors suddenly swung open and whatever came out of them collided with him. Matthew painfully landed on his butt with an "Ow." and looked beside him to find boxes everywhere, their contents dumped all around him. "I-I'm sorry! I didn't mean to and didn't see you there!" Matthew apologized quickly while picking up a few handfuls of silverware and putting them back in random boxes.

A hand was held out to Matthew and the words, "It is not a problem, I assure you." spoken in what Matthew distinctively recognized as an almost French accent. Matthew took the hand graciously and hoisted himself up, ready to thank the person. But when he looked up, he froze. There they were, right in front of him. Those blue eyes that haunted his dreams and made his mind cloudy every time he thought about them.

And they were staring right at him.

Memories of the bridge flashed before Matthew's eyes. The car. The fall. The blue eyes. The drowning. The hospital. All of it came rushing down on Matthew like a giant tidal wave. He couldn't breath, his head was throbbing.

"…_Mon cher_ are you alright?"

And then Matthew ran_._


End file.
